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When Being Mom Judged Sends You Running for Cover

April 6, 2016

 

 

Today, I just wanted to write an encouraging post for all moms out there. I know this is not specific to adoption, but we all need a little extra talking up from time-to-time.  

 

In our social media age, we have a lot of people posting a lot of different things. Fitness moms, Stay-at-home moms, Traveling moms, Crafty Moms, PTA moms, All-Natural moms, Business moms, Sport Moms, etc.

 

So instead of us trying to be the best we can be at one or two of these, we now feel like to have to be ALL of these moms. Because – if it’s not on social media it didn’t happen right?!

 

I mean, I know I have felt this pressure myself. I have never felt like I fit that “typically mommy mold.” I have always fit more into the business mom category. At one time, I was even traveling about a week a month with a 2-year-old.

 

Talk about the comments I got on that – ouch. “I mean, you must really like your job. I don’t know how you leave your kid like that. I could never do that.” Oh well thanks for that! I woke up today and thought, ‘Haha! See you later kid!’ Ummmm No….. My kids crying for me not to leave was bad. But, me leaving not even fazing him because it was a norm for us, was almost even worse.

 

But I am good at what I do. My brain thinks in problem solving, messaging tactics. I love marketing, buyer behaviors, and business acumen. But I also love my family. I love being a mom and spending time with my boys. So many times it feels like these two worlds are constantly battling for top spot.

 

But why do we do this to ourselves?

 

I mean, can’t I raise my boys to see that working hard for your family and for the Lord is a blessing, and that I can still love them too and succeed at a family life?

 

Let me just tell you – I am NOT the Betty Crocker mom! I do not cook everyday. Or even close to everyday. My kids eat Cheetos, Pop-Tarts & McDonalds at least once a week. Heck they even request it. I know you are reading this right this very minute thinking how much better I could be in this area and how much better that would be for my kids. AKA – how much better of a mom I could be.

 

Don’t get me wrong, yes there are healthier alternatives. Yes, I strive to be better in these areas. And yes, I am jealous of you for being able to this better than I do. I really don’t like things I am not good at!

 

But don’t miss this: The amount of meals I do or do not cook, does not define you or me as a mom.

 

It is the quality time that you spend with your kids and the love that you pour into their lives. And that looks different for every single family.

 

I wish that we could just encourage each other to be the best mom that God made us to be – no matter what “kind” of mom we are! And I wish we could feel self-assured in ourselves to be that mom as well.

 

I know God has been writing that on my heart for the past year. To stop struggling with the thoughts of – If I could just be in “X” place, then I would be so much better of a mom. To just enjoy the place God has me in now and balance my life the best I can.

 

 

 

 

Phillipians 1:6 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

We are all works in progress here on this Earth! And I am so thankful that God continues to work on me! So keep on being the great mom that God has created you to be and celebrate your strengths, and I am celebrating them with you!

 

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

 

xoxo

Holly Nicole James 

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