Decorating + Waiting {Adoption Process, Round 2}
Going through the adoption process for the second time, and being a mom for the almost third time, brings so many more feelings and different perspectives.
I am more eager and more patient at the same time. I can't wait for us to be matched, but I also know that God has actually PERECT timing - and He definitely knows better than me.
Still, knowing this, I still couldn't wait to start decorating baby girls room. Nope, we are not even licensed yet and haven't even started looking at broadcasts - haha. Could I be jumping the gun a little? Perhaps. But it's also really fun and helps us stay hopeful.
And I mean, buying pink, girly stuff - who could say no to that?! Obviously not me. And if we do get a call right away, I don't want Baby Girl feeling like she got a spare bedroom. I want her to feel intentional.
But here's where all my feels are so different this time. I know the realities of CPS. I know the realities of situations that kids are in. I know the realities of adjusting and parenting through different situations. And it makes my heart SO HEAVY knowing that I have daughter - yep I know God already has her picked out for me to be her momma - that I don't know what she is going through, I don't where she is, but I know for a fact she needs to be in a permanent home.
So my prayers this time around has shifted from "Please Lord, let me be a momma again," to "Please Lord, keep my baby girl safe. Let her know she is loved and that we are working as hard and as fast as we can to bring her to us."
Funny enough, this time around I haven't really had to explain our family dynamic very much anymore. People know us, know we have adopted, and know our story. But I had a meeting the other day, and as we were talking, the age-old question came back around, "Why in the world do y'all decide to adopt? Don't you just want to have more of your own babies?"
Round 1, my feathers would have stood straight up and I would have been so offended. But I guess I am just getting softer in my old-age. Or maybe I have just learned that it's so okay to be different and to actually share my story and my "why" without be offended.
1) There are kids who actually need a forever home. They have been through and seen unspeakable things more than most people, and they just need stability and love. I have an extra room, extra love, and a support system ready with open arms.
2) God put this on our family's heart. I have learned that not only are God's plans just so much better than what I could plan - they are many times just so different. So I quit saying what I would and wouldn't do, and try to just ask God what He actually wants me to do.
When people ask if this is our last adoption / is our family complete my response is, "Well that's my plan. But you just never know......" I mean, I told God I didn't want to adopt through CPS. And here I am. For the second time.
3) It is just the most dang beautiful picture of how much God loves us.
How can you pray for us?
- That Baby James is safe & loved.
- That we get licensed quickly. (We should be licensed by the end of the month.)
- Pray for the whole matching process. It can be a lot.
How can you get involved?
DFPS is looking for volunteers to help provide much needed support to vulnerable children, families and adults in Texas!
Make a difference in someone’s life by:
- Offering companionship to youth in hospitals with no family
- Providing transportation for parents working to be reunified with their children
- Delivering lifesaving medication to the elderly and disabled
Learn more about becoming a volunteer here.
Thanks for praying with us & walking this journey with us! It means so much!
xoxo
Holly Nicole James
About Holly Nicole James
Adoption advocate, Holly Nicole James, is a momma to two fun, energetic boys, wife to her always supportive husband, Jeremy, and author of Adoption Adventure Travel Guide. She has been featured in Buckner International’s quarterly magazine as well as a guest blogger, and her story has been shared on World Adoption Day and Stand for Life.
When Holly is not working as a marketing specialist or being a boy-mom to her two little boys, You can find her sharing more of her story of adoption and a glimpse into the everyday life of what adoption and motherhood can really look like on her website HollyNicoleJames.com.
